Remember Your Approach

Let your wishes only be wants and never needs. Needs are too grasping, too desperate, too how will I live if I don't get this need met?

Make everything in your world a want so that you can remember--you want this, it is your choice to go out and get it, and it should be pleasant because it is a want and the world won't end if we don't get it.

It is a want and therefore it must be something we want to explore, not something that could take us down if we don't get it.

Remember to enjoy your wants and the pursuit of them.

Remember to enjoy. Don't be fast, don't be slow, just be who you are.

Simon Says with the World

The World wants you to be happy today (and always).

The World wants you to smile at someone today...
even if it's just up at the sky.

The World wants you to hug someone today...
even if it's just a teddy bear.

The World wants you to kiss someone today...
even if it's just a flower.

But mostly, the World wants you to know yourself...
and to tell you it loves you.

The Perfect Guide

There is a technique I've started doing whenever I feel nervous or scared about an endeavor.

I like to call it The Perfect Guide, and I usually picture a guy that's a mix between a psychologist and a guidance counsellor. I imagine he's my buffer and stands between me and all the scary things.

Let's do an example with querying (because that's one I always go to him with).

So everytime I sit down to send out queries, I send out a few, and then I think:

I'm sending these queries out to all of these agents. But really, I am giving my query to you, Perfect Guide.

Please show the query to the agents, chat with them, get to know them, and let me know which one of them is a good fit for me.

If they are not a good fit, I know I will receive either a "no" in my email or no response at all.

If they are a good fit, I trust that you will let me know at the perfect time. (Because The Perfect Guide is soo awesome, that not only does he know which agents are best for you, but he knows the perfect time for them to contact you back. He knows when you'll be at your best and ready for them.)

So that is how I use The Perfect Guide. I know it's a mental exercise, but it really makes most of my anxiety vanish. It just makes me feel secure and taken care of, and that's a great way to feel while you're querying : )

Float Exercise

Do this for about 5 minutes every day (or as much and as often as you feel is needed).

Sit in a comfortable position and let your body "float" as if you are in a swimming pool, completely carefree and weightless, the sun shining down on you and warming you up.

Now let go of everything.

Unstitch your dreams and greatest desires.

Let them float away so that they can become real.

As long as you clutch them to your chest, nobody else will see the treasures.

Feel that they are gone and there is only happiness and fulfillment and sunshine.

You already are and have everything that you need.

I love you.

You are wonderful, and brilliant, and shining brighter every day.

Let Your Writing Be Another Person

Raise your hand if this is what your relationship with your writing looks like:

You beg, beg, beg your writing to get published.

You tell your writing, "You're great!" one second and the next, "You're getting burned this afternoon!"

"I don't know why I bother with you, there's so many other things I could be doing!"

"I'm naturally talented. Why aren't you turning out the way I had it in my head??"

"I don't have time for you today, but let's pretend I did."


Seriously. Think about it. If you were treated like that, would you stay in that relationship? Why should your writing? And if it does stick around, how is it supposed to flourish under those conditions?


Treat it like any relationship you would have with a person.

Give it the time and the patience to grow and develop into your initial vision.

Be patient.

Be kind.

Be gentle.

But mostly, just be there. Show up and be supportive.

That's all you need and that's all your writing needs.

It Shouldn't Hurt

"If querying hurts, you're doing it wrong."

--Me

Just like exercise or anything else, it shouldn't hurt.

If it does, you need to change the way you're thinking about it.

Don't think of it as finding an agent for yourself, but for this novel right here. The question should never be are you good enough. Take the pressure off yourself. The question isn't even if the book is good enough. In fact, there are several questions:

Is the book written well for the audience it's trying to reach?

AND

Is it marketable?

AND

Is there an agent interested in representing it?

You already are doing exactly what you need to be doing.

Keep writing! I believe in you!

Expect Good Things

Expect good things to happen in your life and to come to you.

Expect good news in the morning...
even if it's just that the sun has come out again and that the world is still spinning.

Expect good things throughout the day...
even if it's just a yummy meal or a phone call from that special someone.

Expect to hear good things...
even if it's just the sound of children laughing or the wind strumming tree branches.

Expect... that your dreams are coming true.

That the blocks are falling into place and that everything is coming together.

I love you.

You Already Are

Don't try to be gifted.

Don't try to be talented.

You don't need either one.

You don't need to have them or use them or for them to be inside you.

You already are the gift.

You already are and there is nothing you need to do or any way you need to change.

You are a piece of the whole, and at any moment you may choose to rise to any occasion and shine.

As much as you want.

Go write and be happy!

I love you.

You Are a Kid

Don't think of yourself as a grown-up, think of yourself as a kid.

Nothing is so all-important that you can't laugh at your process of learning. Every mistake is just a small tumble, but you can get right back up. Every time you're upset, it's a cry for help but know that you'll feel better again soon.

Know also that the help is there from:

Family

Friends

even strangers.

From the whole world and from yourself.

Don't forget that you can help yourself too.

Look outside and look inside. (Always check both!)

Celebrate

"Work at what you love and celebrate every step of the way."

--Me

I love you!

Remember to celebrate even the tiniest of success because it is all a success, even the steps that feel backwards are just roundabout and still the path to your goal.

I love you.

I am proud of you.

I like you thinking more positively.

Love

Love

Love

Love

Love